you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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