Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
