do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
