Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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