ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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