I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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