Redeem this text for a blowjob
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize