Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
