jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
