Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
