I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
