In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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