and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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