The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We talked him into tasing himself.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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