I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i out mim tonsoeep
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