in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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