Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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