I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
