Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
