You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
