I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
