I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
