I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
