my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
