lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
