I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
