is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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