I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
