I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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