I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
