Its about making memories worth repressing
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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