Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
