My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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