were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
