I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
