we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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