the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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