..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The power of my boobs compel you
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
