since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
