planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
