I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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