if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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