two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
