we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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