I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
