Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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