hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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