I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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