apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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