Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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