VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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