Why are handjobs necessary in class?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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