Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
