sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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