I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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