I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize