sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize