Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
