yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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