I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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