Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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