I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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