the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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