I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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