____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
